There have been many times I have sat down to update the blog, but instead I end up thinking what do I have to say. I struggle finding the right words for my thoughts, so I sit with all the thoughts floating in my head hoping to get out someday.
For me this blogging world is a struggle. I love, love, love to get updated on the lives of my friends and family but I have realized it has also become another way I continually compare myself to others. I have wondered many times why I continue to try and blog, but right now I don't want to let it go. It is the link I have to the familiar. Living so far from home and from the people who really know me, I hold fast the the ways I can stay connected.
That all said I will begin again. This year I am trying to look at myself the way others do, mostly the way my husband does and the way my Heavenly Father does. I have always, always, always struggled with my self image. It is very difficult for me to see the good when the "bad" seems to be so bright. I had the life changing opportunity last summer to sit down and talk with my aunt who is going through huge trials, but has found a way to be closer than ever to Heavenly Father and the peace He gives. True peace, the peace we read about in the scriptures. I have read about that kind of peace my whole life, but now I know it is possible in this life.
During our conversation I could see who I wanted to be. She has been able to let go and give herself to our Savior. She knows exactly who she is and loves herself. Because of this she is able to let the Spirit in and receive the direction of Heavenly Father. That is my goal. I am beginning my journey back to my Heavenly Father and back to my Savior. For so long my lack of confidence has held me back. That is no way to live and enjoy life. Only through the help of my Savior will I reach this goal.
As I move forward I will share the parts I feel need to be shared. I believe we can learn from each other.
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1 comment:
Thanks for posting this! I think we all feel this way about life at times. It is so easy to focus on the negative: the not-so-perfect parts of our physical appearance, the areas we could improve on as mothers, why it feels like I'm always five steps behind where I need to be...I could go on and on. It's easy to compare yourself to other people, too. The funny thing about comparing, though, is you're only seeing that small part of their life. I bet the people you're comparing yourself to compare themselves to you and feel bad, too!! I mean, who makes their children clothing and costumes, blankets, drapes, homemade pies, jam, etc. like you do!? No one! I really believe, though, that we are all (for the most part) really doing the best we can at the moment. That's what this life is for-to do our best and to improve! I think you're wonderful just the way you are. You have always been. You are such a good person and have, your entire life, tried to do what is right and best. Really, what more can be expected? You're an amazing, strong woman, your children are well cared for and happy, and you're my beautiful friend. I like your new goal to try and see yourself as your husband and our Savior do. I have been trying to do that too, and though it's not easy, it really does make a difference. Way to go, Jenni!!! And, thanks for blogging!!!!
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