Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Words of Wisdom

Last week I was working on my girl's Easter dresses and listening to Little Women the book, on my ipod. I heard this quote and had to write it down.

My child, the troubles and temptations of your life are beginning and may be many, but you can overcome and outlive them all if you learn to feel the strength and tenderness of your Heavenly Father as you do that of your earthly one. The more you love and trust Him the nearer you will feel to Him and the less you will depend on human power and wisdom. His love and care never tire or change, can never be taken from you, but may become the source of life long peace, happiness, and strength. Believe this heartily and go to God with all your little cares and hopes and sins and sorrows as freely and confidingly as you come to your mother.
Mom March - Little Women

How true that is. I am forever grateful for the moments I have felt my Heavenly Father's love and recognized it. It is those feelings that help me get through the low times. I know that as I learn more to trust Him especially during the trials, more peace will be in my life.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Beginning

There have been many times I have sat down to update the blog, but instead I end up thinking what do I have to say. I struggle finding the right words for my thoughts, so I sit with all the thoughts floating in my head hoping to get out someday.
For me this blogging world is a struggle. I love, love, love to get updated on the lives of my friends and family but I have realized it has also become another way I continually compare myself to others. I have wondered many times why I continue to try and blog, but right now I don't want to let it go. It is the link I have to the familiar. Living so far from home and from the people who really know me, I hold fast the the ways I can stay connected.
That all said I will begin again. This year I am trying to look at myself the way others do, mostly the way my husband does and the way my Heavenly Father does. I have always, always, always struggled with my self image. It is very difficult for me to see the good when the "bad" seems to be so bright. I had the life changing opportunity last summer to sit down and talk with my aunt who is going through huge trials, but has found a way to be closer than ever to Heavenly Father and the peace He gives. True peace, the peace we read about in the scriptures. I have read about that kind of peace my whole life, but now I know it is possible in this life.
During our conversation I could see who I wanted to be. She has been able to let go and give herself to our Savior. She knows exactly who she is and loves herself. Because of this she is able to let the Spirit in and receive the direction of Heavenly Father. That is my goal. I am beginning my journey back to my Heavenly Father and back to my Savior. For so long my lack of confidence has held me back. That is no way to live and enjoy life. Only through the help of my Savior will I reach this goal.
As I move forward I will share the parts I feel need to be shared. I believe we can learn from each other.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Sunday brings Peace

I wish everyday was Sunday! 1- I don't have to exercise. YAY! 2-I am more hopeful about life on Sunday. I know that it is because the spirit it stronger on Sundays. I do my best the rest of the week, but it just doesn't compare. I am sure it is also because my focus switches from me to my YW and the things I need to do for them. Maybe I should take a note from that and focus more on other people.
I am feeling somewhat better today about life and losing weight. Somehow I need to get to the point that I am ok with where I am, so that I don't stress so much about where I want to be. If I am trying my best, than that is good enough. There will always be more I can do, but I can only do so much, and that is ok.
It is too bad that we can't have another Sunday in the middle of the week. It is usually around Wed. that my positive thoughts are replaced by the more negative thoughts. It doesn't help that Wed. is weigh in day. This week I am going to make a concerted effort to replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. One thought at a time.
Anyway, I just love Sundays. I always have.

Friday, May 1, 2009

I am still trying

I really did not plan to leave the blog so tired, but such is life.

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you work, you can't seem to shake off the mud that is holding you, stuck in one place? This is how I feel about this whole weight loss process. Some people say they don't like working out on a treadmill because it feels like they aren't going anywhere. I really am not getting anywhere. (I still love having my treadmill). I have been working out for 5 months now and instead of losing any weight I have gained 5 pounds.

Not Fair

I have been working so hard and I am so frustrated. I know there are more ways to improve with my eating, but I really was hoping exercise would at least help in losing weight. I have established the habit of daily exercise, but I want results. I also know I have improved in other areas like endurance and such, but right now it is hard to focus on those things. I am tired of living my life like this. I want to feel strong and beautiful and healthy.
I started training to run a 10K because I needed something else to focus on instead of focusing on my lack of weight loss. I am still training, but it is very difficult. The race is on July 4th and Seth is doing it with me. I am excited to do it because than I can't say it is impossible.
When I was pregnant with Savannah I was diagnosed as hypothyroid, low thyroid production. Which means my body does not make enough thyroid hormone to run the metabolism of the body. Symptoms include weight gain, low energy, dry skin, etc. I have been taking Synthroid ever since. According to the doctors, with the current level of meds, I am within the normal range now. I can't help but wonder if something more needs to be done because I really should be losing weight. But at the same time I know that I am not eating perfectly. It is really hard to be confident enough in my efforts to really push a doctor into doing more to help the problem.
For some strange reason, even without results, I have continued to exercise daily. Of course I have missed days here and there, but I have been really good at exercising. That is actually really hard to say (blog) out loud. For that I am grateful. I don't know how, but the habit is there. It is still not easy, but it is there. Someday the results will come, I hope.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

This is all I have to say!

I AM TIRED!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

So far so good

Life as a daily exerciser is still going strong. I am now up to running 1 continuous mile on the treadmill. For all those runners out there, this is a big deal for me. I walk for one lap (1/4 mile) then I run for 1 mile and then walk to finish off the 30 min. I am still trying to decide how best to work up to an hour long workout. I don't know if I should just keep walking and work on extending the time or if I should work in running and then work on extending time. For now, I like to see the higher # of calories burned when I run.
I don't know if I have lost any weight or not. I am doing the Best Life Diet plan. During phase one you are not supposed to weigh yourself for 4 weeks. One more week and we shall see. I don't feel like my clothes fit any differently, but I do feel stronger, so I think the exercise is doing something. I actually really like this program. You start out by increasing your activity level and when that is solid you move onto phase 2 which starts the food change. I am not looking to be on a diet, I am changing my life.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

And So it Begins

After many, and I mean many, months of talking about it we finally bought a treadmill. We looked everywhere, including Craigslist, which isn't very helpful in our area, reading about treadmill after treadmill and decided to buy the Sole F80. I LOVE IT!!!
We purchased it in the beginning of November and received it just after Thanksgiving. I am so happy to record that I have been using it 5 days a week since. YAY!!! It has been so nice being able to stay within my own home and going for a walk/run. My girls have even been so good to let me get my exercise in, with the help of cartoons of course. I am now planning on getting up at 6 am to exercise. I have not lost any weight, actually gained two pounds, but I am still so happy to have the habit building.
One of my other successes so far is - I have actually been able to read my scriptures every day this year. I was reading my scriptures on New Year's day and then the next day and realized I had read every day in 2009, and it continues. I love going from day to day knowing that I have read my scriptures. I don't have to feel guilty about it any more. Some days, I only get a few verses read, but it is becoming a habit. I am so excited and plan to not break the pattern.
I have even noticed a difference in myself lately. I have been able to handle added stress better. I don't get overwhelmed as much. So nice. I know the exercise and scripture reading is the reason. I have more balance in my life and less guilt. That is priceless.